\}"Such as....

In the final piece of the Miss Teen USA pageant, the last five contestants were provided "interesting, thought-provoking questions" posed by each of the five judges. The contestants drew a judge's name from a fish bowl and the judges asked their question.

Miss South Carolina's response to "Recent polls tell us that one out of five Americans do not know how to locate the US on a world map. Why do you think this is?" has become wildly celebrated among Canadians and the French alike as confirmation of the lack of intelligence among America's youth, blondes and beauty contestants.

The onstage short circuiting of Miss S.C.'s brain was unfortunate, to say the least. But c'mon, that was a fucked up question in the first place. My response to that question was, "You've got to be fucking kidding me. Um... is it because they're illegal immigrants? Is it because the average mom and dad feel too guilty about working 80 hour weeks to pay for their Range Rover and cabin and Iphones, so they throw money at their children instead of love and attention and discipline? Is it because even CNN has to have an entertainment segment, because people in this country are more worried about Britney and her babies than anything else?" In her heels, I think I'd have said, "Yeah, can I draw a different judge? This one doesn't seem to know this is a beauty contest."

But all things considered, it was a fair segment of the pageant. I mean, the other contestants were provided equally complex, thought-provoking questions:

Miss Colorado, the winner, was asked: "Who do you prefer: Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie or Lindsay Lohan, and why?"

Her response: "Well... first of all I'd say they're not my role models. But... I'd have to say Paris Hilton because she knew, in the end, what was right and what was wrong."

Miss Virginia's question: "At what point in life do you think you officially become a grownup?"

Miss Virginia's answer: "When you can figure out what is wrong and what is right without your parents' help."

Miss North Carolina's question: "What was the biggest risk you've ever taken in your life and what did you learn from that experience?"

Miss North Carolina's answer: "It was when I went to Canada and went snowboarding. That was definitely a big risk for me, um, going down there, because it was very hard."

Miss New Jersey's question: "What skills are most lacking in teens today and how can they be taught?

Miss Jersey's answer: "I think the skill most lacking in teenagers today is public speaking, a lot of teenagers don't find themselves very comfortable talking in front of large crowds or even small crowds and I think if they feel comfortable with themselves then maybe they can have a better chance with their skills in public speaking."

Sounds like the Jersey girl was giving some advice to Miss South Carolina, if not actually explaining how "being comfortable with themselves" can be taught.

I guess when I said it was a fair segment, I meant each contestant provided answers which were just as relevant as Miss South Carolina's. But Miss South Carolina had the unfortunate distinction of being asked the only question that requires more than two seconds to start formulating a semi-intelligent response.

That judge was kind of an asshole.

Here's what all the fuss is about, and although I think it was just her bad luck to get such a bullshit question, I still enjoy the spoof vid:

The original:


And the spoof: